Back in 2017/2018 I found myself an overwhelmed mom to 3 kids under 6. My youngest was 1.5 at the time, I was still nursing multiple times a day, sleep deprived, and self care was low on the radar. When my period finally returned about 8 months postpartum, it came back with a bang. Super heavy flow and really bad PMS. After months of not paying much attention and thinking this was just my new normal, my symptoms worsened enough that they became impossible to ignore. Besides the inconvenience and worry I had over the amount I was bleeding, I was also spending what felt like an increasing portion of every month either in a tumultuous emotional rollercoaster or a spiral of anxious and negative thoughts.
I feel like I’m going crazy. Everything is wrong. Everyone in my life is doing me wrong. I feel so annoyed with everything, everyone, myself.
So I did what I thought I should do, I booked in with my family doctor. I felt something wasn’t right. I distinctly remember the two options I was given by the end of that brief appointment: either, go on birth control to manage my hormones OR try going on anti-depressants. I chose neither.
It both saddens and angers me to think the number of women this happens to, and how we aren’t given many options, re-assurance, or basic education about our hormones/our cycles/ our bodies! Not putting blame here, but underlining that there is a HUGE gap in menstrual health options.
It was likely the decade plus I spent being a Registered Nurse before, that informed this knowing in me, but I knew I wanted and needed (and deserved!) more than just band-aid solutions for my cycle issues.
My story
CUE MENSTRUAL CYCLE AWARENESS
It was just another night of entering random queries in Google like “why do I feel like I’m going crazy during PMS?” I was desperate for help, and for more understanding.
The first clue on my breadcrumb trail was an article on the Four Phases of the Menstrual Cycle. “You mean to tell me there’s more to it than just my period?” That was news to me. At age 37.
It was as simple as the knowledge that there was scientific basis for my changing emotions and psychological state. I was INTRIGUED.
What then followed were months of deep diving and learning as much as I could about the menstrual cycle. Articles, blogs, podcasts, books, courses. I was HOOKED.
I had already begun a cycle charting practice for a little more than a year (keeping track of what I noticed in myself each cycle day), but it wasn’t until the Fall of 2020 when I picked up a book called Wild Power by Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer, that all the many puzzle pieces of my lived mental & emotional experiences so far as a female began to make sense.
After this it was reading In the Flo by Alisa Vitti and Fix Your Period by Nicole Jardim. I was officially obsessed with the menstrual cycle and all its wisdom, intricacies and power!
CONNECTING THE DOTS
For me although the heavy flow was worrisome and inconvenient, it was the mental and emotional stuff that really negatively impacted my life and my relationships.
Looking back to even my teen years and early 20’s where I experienced ‘too many emotions’ and mental acrobatics that I didn’t quite have the tools to understand and manage despite seeking help from counselors and therapists, I don’t recall any mention of my hormones or my cycle potentially having an effect. (I now know it definitely did!)
It was during Nursing School where I learned and really resonated with the principles of Health Promotion and Disease Prevention. These were in line with my growing passion for holistic health and well-being. But frustratingly in over my 10 years of hospital practice, I observed that our medical system mostly managed symptoms without addressing root cause, and administered band-aid solutions that didn’t empower the client to take charge over their own health situation.
This is what I would like to see change, especially in the context of menstrual health.
In my personal experience, once I became educated about my cycle and began to take care of it properly, live aligned to my biological rhythms and learn to honour my needs, my whole experience changed. I became empowered. I didn’t feel so lost. My cycle and periods now mostly come with ease. I am proud to say that I am the happiest and strongest I have ever been both mentally and emotionally too. I have felt a coming home to my body and myself, and from this a level of self-acceptance and belonging that no quick fix could have given me.
Bridging these passions and experiences are what brought me here to starting Mayari Menstrual and embarking on a new career as a Menstrual Cycle Coach. I believe there is a gap to be filled here, and in conjunction with other modalities and health providers, a lot can be done to improve women’s experiences with their cycles.
Women’s Hormone Health Practitioner- Institute of Menstrual Health with Nicole Jardim (in progress)
Certified Menstrual Cycle Coach - Cycle Coach School with Claire Baker
Bachelor of Science in Nursing- University of Victoria
Advanced Nursing Practice Certificate Critical Care- British Columbia Institute of Technology
tons of lived experience, not the least of which being a mother to 3 busy beautiful boys!
My qualifications
LAND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
As a first generation immigrant I gratefully acknowledge that I get to live, work, create and play on the traditional and unceded lands of the Semiahmoo, Katzie, Kwikwetlem, Kwantlen, Qayqayt, and Tsawwassen First Nations peoples.